Waking at 4am for a text message tantrum

Okay here goes a confession. I had a tantrum this morning. Yes ME.

TeaI awoke from deep slumber to hear my son whimpering in the next room…it is still dark but I hear birds and I guess it is 4am. All good Dad will sort him. Whimpering continues and I look up to realise that Dad has gone for a surf, DAMN my memory! By this point our son is wandering the hallway, clearly awake. I stumble out of bed before he disturbs the baby, and I feel furious. It is the second morning in a row we are up before dawn, I am exhausted and totally over not having any ME time. I start feeling super angry at my husband for going surfing (even though it was planned). The rage is building and as my son starts whining about the stuff toddlers whine about, I know I am in bad territory.

I quickly grab my phone and shoot a completely horrible text message to my currently surfing hubby. I express every ridiculous thought in my head and press send.

Then I send one more which says “Thanks I feel better now :)”

An hour later he calls in a calm tone and I answer full of patience and love. He knows the text was a vent and he lovingly lets me have it. I did it because I knew he would accept my anger which needed to be expressed, I felt no guilt, and it helped me immensely in doing what needed to be done. The morning started at 4am, but it was a lovely morning.

Then I read this article and laughed; The Best Way to Teach Your Child Emotional Intelligence. Children, AND ADULTS, need a safe place to express raw feelings. There is so much value in accepting our emotions and expressing them till their end. It free’s us from the burden of negative thoughts circling our minds all day.

I feel so lucky to have a partner that is emotionally intelligent and accepting. With a little awareness we will be able to create that same safe place for our children, and that is a beautiful thing.

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From that time I was a pregnant bridesmaid, just because

Last month two of my favourite couples in the world celebrated their first and forth wedding anniversary’s. I find it a pretty darn glorious coincidence that during both these weddings I got to play the pregnant bridesmaid. In fact, four years ago I was running around taking care of maid of honour duties when two days before the wedding we discovered I was pregnant. It was the most important and wonderful surprise our lives have seen thus far. A week later I wrote this entry in my diary.

bridesmaid

Sharing just because.

” Pure joy is something to relish more often, if only I can remember to stop and smell the flowers. But of course I can, and I must, because those simple joys are so very important. To let the beauty of the world bubble up inside you, spilling over with lightness and love. We are in our new home with lots of space and light. In another six months it will be even more “our” home with little touches that will reflect us. To be honest I guess there will be one quite BIG touch that will reflect us.

A baby. I am Pregnant!

There is no rhyme or reason to it, except that it all makes perfect sense and yet has the fact at all sunk in? Not really. We all talk about it but at the moment our baby is two blue lines on a stick, a prophecy from my Aunt, a nauseous feeling in my empty stomach, a slight cramp as my uterus enlarges, cries and delighted squeals from loved ones, a faint knowing that the next chapter is upon us….An ache of the wanting to create magic…and we will.”

5 Reasons why I want to live with less

Hands up who knows what I am talking about when I say Konmari…surely the articles haven’t only taken over my Facebook newsfeed!? Well for those out of the loop it’s a term coined by Author of The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Marie Kondo, a philosophy for decluttering your life. I am yet to read the book (STILL on hold at our local library) but I believe I have the gist from several articles. Only keep what you need and only if it gives you joy. The whole concept lead me to read ‘Clutterfree with Kids’ by Joshua Becker and discover a lifestyle which people call ‘Minimalism’. I have never been overly motivated by ‘stuff’ so lets say I find the idea of ‘less stuff’ appealing, therefore I have started the process of cutting down and here are 5 reasons why.

  1. Less stuff means less mess

Most parents will admit they spend a lot of time chasing their tails, cleaning up, as the path of destruction continues behind them. But, let me be honest, my home was littered with things well before the kids arrived; clothes, books, shoes, photos, pens, towels, rotting food 😛 Owning less simply decreases the number of mess possibilities. I gave half of our children’s books to goodwill this week and I tell you it has made a HUGE difference.

Books2. Less stuff = more money

When we strive to live like a minimalist we resist the trap to unnecessarily upgrade, buy duplicates or impulse purchase. Easier said then done when all the advertising in the WORLD is telling us that more = happiness. But a shift away from consumerism leaves us with cash in our pockets, or at the very least, less debt. Depending on exactly how much your habits change it could even mean following a career path that offers less money but is more aligned with your life passion.

3. Less stuff grants us more time and energy

Organising and looking after our things takes time. Searching for what we need through clutter takes time. Buying more unnecessary items takes time…. You get the point…TIME.

Also did you know there is something called decision fatigue? it’s why shopping for groceries can be so exhausting (seriously have you seen the cereal aisle??) and why American President Obama wears only gray or blue suits. “I’m trying to pare down decisions. I don’t want to make decisions about what I’m eating or wearing. Because I have too many other decisions to make.” Minimalism requires less energy because we are not overwhelmed with choice. Barry Schwartz’s TED talk on the Paradox of Choice is another great testament to this, and much more.

Bathroom4. Less stuff allows us to appreciate what we have

Remember back to childhood days when you had one special doll. You cherished it with all your life, it would not easily be replaced and so you knew care needed to be taken. These days children have mountains of toys, each birthday and christmas adds 5 new Barbies to the pile. But it is not just children. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Now think about if you could only own one pair…. seriously think about it…How would it change the way you choose those shoes, the way you looked after them, the importance they would have?

The fact is appreciation gets lost within a lifestyle of excess. One more pair of new shoes may bring us short term happiness, but sooner rather then later they become one in the pile of many.

5. Less stuff means more freedom to pursue meaningful experiences

Less mess, more money, more time and more energy means MORE EXPERIENCES. Whether that is spending time reading to your children before bed instead of bulldozing toys into cupboards, giving a spa treatment instead of a new blender for Christmas, or taking a family trip to the insanely beautiful Great Barrier Reef using money saved not unnecessarily upgrading.

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I love that this concept is being shared, embraced and celebrated so widely. I believe it is testament to a growing concern we all have in our consumer society. More does not = happiness. No…happiness comes from the meaningful connections in our lives. It is grown through the care and respect we have for the environment we live within. And nurtured by living with an abundance of wonder filled experiences shared with all those quirky people we love.

So I dare you to look around and pay attention to your stuff. Does it rule your life? Do you feel obligated to add more or improve what is there? How much of it brings you joy and appreciation? How much never gets used?  Looking forward to sharing our Minimalism journey with you more xo