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nella inspired 
Finally I found a place to leave a message. I am a disabled US veteran. I have amongst other issues, Charcot’s Foot which means basically my right foot bones fell apart. I have to wear a CROW boot. It is almost knee high and huge! Looks like a Frankenstein shoe. I tried to hide it as best as possible as I was embarrassed. After a while I just gave up and started wearing short pants where the boot was glaringly obvious. People would look but after a while I discovered that they weren’t being rude, just inquisitive. I now know how Dolly Parton feels! LOL. Anyway as far as I know, everyone that I know and that I see, accepts my odd foot for what it is, just like I accept (more easily now) others who are “different”. I’m not telling you anything at all that you didn’t know but a different twist sometimes helps. You quip about Holland instead of Italy helped me think…. Best of all! Jim Marshman jimmarshman@att.net
Hi Jim! “they weren’t being rude, just inquisitive” this is so true. I think when we are feeling embarrassed or sensitive about a part of ourselves we take every side ways glance as an attack. But when we accept and embrace our differences it gives us a chance to educate those inquisitive onlookers. Before Boston was born I viewed disabilities so differently, there was always (and I HATE to say this) a sense of pity. Now I see that a disability is part of life, just like the colour of your skin, where you grew up or what school you went to. With each experience, each part of you, there is a chance for positive or negative. Certainly Boston’s journey is not always easy, but it has also brought many positive things into our life. Now when I see someone with a disability I really just want to know their story, the joys and the hard times.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me, it really made me smile 🙂
Thank you for the reply. This was the VERY FIRST time that I commented on something but I felt compelled. I hope that Boston learns what it took me almost 10 years to understand. When I would go to a doctor, I was totally ashamed of what my foot looked like and would frankly prefer to be sitting there naked with my foot hidden. It is still somewhat of an issue but I get over it and have been able to deal with it. I don’t know how but if you can guide Boston to understand and “deal with it” quicker that would be best for him.
I have been going to a Psychiatrist and Psychologist for well over a year and yes I’m on the heaviest dose of Prozac that is prescribed. That has helped me tremendously and if you see Boston needing that sort of help, it may be a life saver. In my case I was in Vietnam (a helicopter door gunner) and both did and seen way too much. Returning home at that time was not welcoming but the reverse. Then I was in the World Trade Center on 9/11 and lost a very close friend in that. If you watch any documentary on the WTC you may come across “Hero’s on the 88th Floor”. It is a story about Paul Ortiz and Frank De Martine. Paul was a very close friend and I was on my way to the 88th when the first plane hit. Paul and Frank are credited for saving hundreds of lives but lost their own. A wall caved in and fell on me. I woke up in I guess about 10 or 15 minutes and found my way out. Once out I was standing there looking up at Tower 1 and the second plane flew right over me as it went into Tower 2. A file cabinet came flying out and almost hit me. Well I can go on and on but don’t want to bore you. These two events (Vietnam and The WTC) coupled with constant pain (slight but constant), being stuck and not being able to drive with my foot and the embarrassment that I felt put me into depression and I was close to taking a drastic way out. The Psychiatrist picked up on that and started to help me with Prozac and simply sitting there talking to me. Today my depression is like 5% of what it was and I feel so much better about myself. That too is a lesson for Boston. There will likely ALWAYS be an issue in his mind but keeping it under control is the key. The glass IS half full!
I have 10 natural grandkids and one bonus grandkid. We (my wife and I) took in a homeless pregnant girl when her family disowned her. We didn’t know her but seen a need. She is wonderful and we feel extremely lucky to have her in our lives. When she gets married she wants me to give away the bride. She had Alex and he and I are best buds! So along with the 10 others and 3 daughters, I have lots to be here for. Maybe copy and paste this note to give to Boston when he is old enough to understand. I know that he will recognize how lucky he is to have you as his mom. You need to teach more than you know now and will love the very hard journey, I’m sure!
Oh I’m 65 retired (I had to with my foot) and used to travel +320 days a year all over the states running high end construction projects. The USA Social Security disability pay coupled with a very generous monthly tax free pay from the Veterans Administration along with my wife’s retirement and an annuity we bought with my (401K) retirement savings we are doing just fine. If you ever make it to Southern California, let me know and we will pick you all up and have dinner or something. We live very near to Disneyland and Knott’s Berry Farm, the studios and of course Hollywierd!
XOOX Sleep tight!
Dear Jim,
I am very humbled by your response and feel extremely honoured that you shared your life with me. When I said I enjoyed hearing others stories I had no idea you had such an extraordinary one to tell!
I can not begin to imagine everything you have been through. At 31 I still feel young and innocent to the world and its larger struggles, a middle class Aussie with nothing substantial to complain of. To have had your experiences and still be seeking the positive you must be a strong person, and I am happy to hear you have such a wonderful family to support you.
Boston has the advantage of being born different, so to him there is no other ‘normal’. We will continually try to foster the belief that his differences can be his strength, I hope this will give him enough confidence to face any adversity or discrimination that comes his way. We are both pretty big advocates for seeking help when you need it and from many avenues. So whether that means friends, family, a psychologist or a counsellor, we try to make that part of our lives. I feel blessed that mental health is talked about so much more these days, the stigma behind the subject is slowly being broken down. It is unfortunately part of the package with these big human brains of ours.
I will send you a private email so you have my details. One of our best friends lives in Washington State, so we have a big US trip on our agenda in a couple of years, and we are already excited and planning. So who knows we may just cross paths 🙂
Once again thank you
Nell xo