Inspired Life

Share the load and find some headspace

~ Mumsgoneclimbing ~ 4 Comments

A friend of mine recently said something along the lines of “You love your kids even more when they’re sleeping and I found out why… It’s because you actually have a moment to think about it”

IMG_3590_fotorAs parents, and particularly if you happen to be a stay home mum or dad, it can be rare to find a moment that is not consumed with either the responsibilities of living or the responsibilities of making sure your child doesn’t decide to grab hold of your dogs tail and attempt to bite it off. Your mind is constantly focused in the moment or the ever so boring to do list, that you actually do not get the chance to reflect and appreciate life.

There is another thing that tends to happen as well. We become so use to the treadmill that when someone offers to tag team, jump on and keep it rolling while we take to the bush track instead, we tend to deny them. I seriously crave the sort of me time that for 27 years of my life was on tap. Nothing extravagant…just conversation with a dear friend that includes my full attention and no interruptions. Or a walk along the beach to wonder at the ocean and waves without seeing them as a immediate drowning hazard. I have an amazing husband who will often ask if I want to take time, but I get so stumped about having time that I can barely come up with what I want to do” ahhh…ummmm…okay……ummmm”, or I feel this weird guilt for leaving him to wrestle our son for an hour (all the while being completely aware that it is RIDICULOUS, unfounded, hogwash, self indulgent guilt).

IMG_3591_fotorThis morning I ask for some time and it was happily given. Of course it would be happily given by my husband, our family or a friend pretty much when ever I was in need. But this morning I TOOK IT! It was wonderful. One and a half hours of just walking along enjoying the world, sitting to meditate not on my bed at the end of a busy day but in the soft sand while gazing at the waves, finding some head space, just being…reflecting and feeling grateful.

So to all of you out there who have little time to turn off from what is right in front of you or what is hijacking your mind…jump off the treadmill of life, find some head space!!!! You do not have to be a parent, maybe your life is full of work, or stress, or relationship needs. Whoever…whatever…when some one offers to share the load so you can find peace…please… let them.

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My take on…THE WEDDING

~ Mumsgoneclimbing ~ Leave a comment

Ten years ago when I first decided I would be marrying Steven (he took a bit more time to convince) marriage was an idea in my head that looked like the end of every Disney movie…Happily Ever After. Then reality bit in and I saw relationships turn nasty, marriages crumble, I had my heart broken a few times, suddenly Happily Ever After seemed confusing. I realised that a wedding didn’t give you a free pass to happiness and “till death do us part” seemed an impossible promise. So over the years I have reinvented my view on this relationship rite of passage. Don’t get me wrong I am in no way trying to reinvent everyones perception, but this is my take on THE WEDDING.

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This Saturday I will marry the man I have loved for such a long time and it will be such a joyous day. It will be a celebration of all our triumphs and failures, a celebration of families coming together, of lessons learnt by each others side, a celebration of creating new life and of loving another person so much it makes you cry. It will be a chance for all the people we love in our life to come together and CELEBRATE LOVE!! And yes, we will be making promises to each other, along the lines of; we promise to always strive to be true and honest and respectful no matter which way our path winds.

The planning of a wedding is so huge that this beautiful meaning behind the event is sometimes forgotten. So at times when I feel like I am on the event planning treadmill I STOP…breath…and hold in my mind a picture of all the people who will be there. I see how we are all connected by the love between Steve and I…suddenly my soul is still and I can enjoy each step involved in creating the day, savouring the whole experience, because this I have realised can be the best part.

“What do you like doing best in the world, Pooh?” “Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best-” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called” – AA Milne

I still adore fairy tales despite my reality check and I know this weekend is going to be magical. But what Pooh was thinking about, that moment just before he eats the honey, that beautiful anticipation…that feeling is all the nights dreaming about and planning this weekend. It is the past eleven years spent at Steven’s side slowly gaining an understanding of our unique connection and realising it was going to last a long time. So yes this weekend will be magical but it is only the destination… and the journey to this wedding day has sure been something worth celebrating.

Battles with doubt

~ Mumsgoneclimbing ~ 3 Comments

Do you ever hear people singing your praises and not really grasp what they are saying? There is the perception of me that other people hold and then there is the perception I hold of myself. When I write a great post, that I am proud of and which is inspiring to others, readers share the most beautiful comments with me. “You are so strong””You have the best outlook on life””Your family is so blessed”. Part of me believes and embraces these ideas… I know how lucky I am, I know I am a good and positive person, I know how much I care about those around me, how important it is to me that I can give them my support and love, I know they are truly grateful… But these wonderful positive things I know about myself is not what my mind repeats all the time.

No, it usually focuses on the day in day out stuff (and it’s not exactly an inspiring monologue). The fact I haven’t exercised much, that I haven’t practiced yoga in a year even though I love it, that I should be eating better, spending less time on Facebook and more time enriching Boston’s life. That I annoyed Steve because I didn’t sleep well, getting frustrated with myself because waking at 5am puts me in a grumpy mood for the first 30minutes of my day. Watching movies instead of researching education options, not meditating (I have been putting this off for hmm….29 years), not really following my bliss because I get weighed down with life stuff, the fact that life stuff is so amazing yet I still feel weighed down, why I am not really living with the joy I am capable of!!! Each night I lie down next to Boston and feel so positive about everything I will embrace tomorrow, then CRAP there goes another day and hmmm what did I do???

I think you get the point I am making here. Yes my blog is called Nella Inspired, but I do not always feel it and I often entertain some pretty negative dialogues about myself. I have such a tremendous amount of love and admiration for those around me. My close friends are not acquaintances they are more like family, and my family are amazing. But it is my observation that we all have trouble seeing our own greatness, our own value to those we love. Even the amazing people in my life seem to lack a full understanding of their greatness. Some times I want to grab them and be like “DONT YOU SEE HOW FREAKIN AMAZING YOU ARE!!!”. But is it a case of the pot calling the kettle black? Why is it so easy to see greatness in others yet so hard to regularly give ourselves the same positive re-enforcement?

I for one am sick of this problem, and YES it is a problem because every negative thought that passes through our minds stops us from living the positive life we are capable of. Lets get one thing straight before I end this. I honestly am NOT looking for praise, I know you think I am freakin awesome… it’s a given 😉 I simply want to put honesty out there and admit I don’t always think I am freakin awesome. I DO want to know whether you suffer the same affliction, do you have trouble recognising your own awesomeness?

Time to start a positive dialogue with myself
Time to start a positive dialogue with myself