A quick post on a Wednesday evening to share a parenting experience.
Recently our son Boston had to be put under anaesthetic to have a CT scan. This would be his fifth time under and the past has been a bit traumatic for different reasons, whether it was the anaesthetic experience itself or surgery that went along with it. I wrote a post about how those experiences had affected his sleep, more precisely how they affected him falling asleep (What Boston’s Body told us about Sleep).
This time around I had concerns “Would we be back to traumatic sleep times????” but my wonderfully wise friend from Katesurfs.com reminded me of the Aware Parenting Tool Symbolic play! In short;
Symbolic play allows you to make games around situations that may be scary, confusing or traumatic to help children process and release emotions.
Since the CT I have played a little game with Boston before he falls asleep. I sit up next to him on the bed and get him to place my hand over my mouth, to symbolise a mask. Then I take a HUGE exaggerated breath in and flop down on the pillows snoring loudly. HE LOVES IT! Bursts out giggling and gets me to do it over and over, then he does it to himself but is too busy giggling to actually pretend he is asleep. I knew it must have made an impact when he woke in the middle of the night and got me to do it, then went back to sleep straight away.
Hoping this may inspire or help someone else out xo
People often hear Boston’s story and comment how strong we must be to go through everything, but the fact is our challenges are not constant. For our family the medical journey is like a swim in the ocean. Some times it feels like you have just dived under one wave and are up gasping for air as the next crashes on your head. But there are many many days where the ocean is so calm you can see the bottom and surfers sit around looking bored. This extremely sophisticated pie graph demonstrates exactly what I mean.
We’ve had a tidal wave recently. Boston has been out of the surgery woods for 18 months now, its been pretty blissful. But last month one of our routine opthamology check ups uncovered that Boston’s optic nerves have mild swelling. This is a sign that there could be intracranial pressure (ICP or pressure in the head). It does not come as a surprise, we always knew this was likely on the cards for our little saethre-chotzen warrior god. But…it still stinks like a week old egg sandwich.
Rewind and the last two months have been choppy waters. In December we found out Boston has fluid in his middle ear, resulting in mild hearing loss and the possibility of grommets (not a big deal, but added to past surgeries its ONE more anaesthetic). Then there has been lots of routine check ups (paediatric, ENT, craniofacial clinic) and new therapists (physio, OT and speech). After six months of relatively nothing we’ve been going pretty flat out.
Fast forward to getting the discovery of swollen optic nerves and possible ICP, we actually get to go straight from the Ophthalmologist to the Cranio team who happen to be having a clinic “Just into the lift and up one floor, they are waiting for you”. There are questions and explanations and possibilities. A CT is ordered (oh great ONE more anaesthetic) and we leave with a lot of if’s, but’s and we have to wait and see’s. My mind races as the possibility of another big surgery hits, our second baby is due in 3 months and I wonder how that will affect my ability to be there for Boston, seven days in hospital recovery with a newborn ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!……This is the tidal wave.
After a couple of days the wave passes. I did a little crying it out…family and friends are there to share the weight…and happy go lucky mindset kicks in. Sure the sea is still rough but we have a life boat… all in all life could be a lot worse, but lets be honest… can not wait to see those bored surfers again.
yeah it is pretty darn beautiful snoozing with Boston
We have a family counsellor/healer that we have been seeing for the better part of ten years. Karen is a BodyTalk practitioner, what the booggily is a BodyTalk practitioner??? Well if you want the official definition try HERE I still can not entirely understand or explain the process to you, but I can say that for us it has been such an amazing tool. To greatly simplify, the treatment takes cues from muscle memory in the body, highlighting stored beliefs and areas of concern, then uses techniques to balance energies. To be honest Karen is so lovely that we would enjoy seeing her for any occasion, the subtle yet huge improvements to our wellbeing is just a bonus.
Boston is 20 months old and waking between 2 and 5 times a night. We have good weeks and bad weeks, which I have mainly accepted as typical toddler behaviour (except on those mornings where my eyes are hanging out of my head, then I would swear it was the problem of a demon from the dark depths of the planet ZAARRR). Every few weeks there seems to be a new secret to helping him sleep, but just when we get the knack the process starts again.
Yesterday Boston had a treatment with Karen, we were not focusing on anything in particular but just seeing what surfaced. This would be his third treatment, the first two were shortly after his cranio vault reconstruction surgery. When it came up that “Boston does not like sleep” I was actually a little surprised. Yes he can be sensitive, but on a whole he still has a two hour nap each day and sleeps from 7 till 7. Once a problem is identified the practitioner will go deeper, trying to find beliefs and causes. Boston’s belief around the emotion was a fear of falling into sleep, of letting go, so ingrained that he becomes distressed in between sleep cycles when he realises he has let himself fall. Why this belief? His body showed us the times he was put under anaesthetic.
The penny dropped and then a million more came crashing down. Boston has been put under anaesthetic four times! Twice for scans and twice for surgery. The first time he was only 3 months old. Unlike a lot of people who wake groggy and disorientated Boston always comes out hysterical and screaming. The sensation of the drug alone is scary enough, then add the times after surgery when he woke in pain, with swollen eyes and tubes running in and out of his body…my heart aches when I see the clear picture. Then I thought back to all those different soothing techniques we needed to help him sleep, the way he seems to fight it with arms flying, biting his comforter, smooshing into pillows, rolling over and over then jolting awake just before he manages to nod off. The countless times he wakes shaking and crying in the night (it started after surgery and still happens a few times a week). We tried sleep training at one point with a bit of improvement but after a couple of days I stopped, it didn’t feel right and the more research I did (partially covered in our friends blog HERE) the more I knew it was not for us. Now I feel so relieved that we decided to co-sleep and use gentle soothing techniques.
To some I know this will all sound far fetch, but I wanted to share because it is important to us and so will be important to some one else out there. Karen worked with Boston energetically to balance his body and we are changing bed time rituals around, attempting to bring a new more peaceful meaning of sleep to Boston’s thoughts. Wish us luck xo
nella inspired 