Three weeks ago, on a Tuesday in February, my heart was in my throat as I calmed my voice “everything is well, you are both doing great, just breath…..” I gently held my best friends head hoping to help her stay centred. Seconds later a baby boy named William came into this world, up and onto her belly, a pause…then a cry… and the room filled with magic.
I have witnessed four wonderful births. Of all the experiences in my life thus far this gifts me the most honour. The first is now over seven years ago, I remember with perfect clarity the moment I saw Narrah take his first breath and the joy on Georgia’s face. It flooded me with such intense emotion that I could not help but burst into tears. The second, Lennox, now four years ago was a completely unplanned attendance. I was dropping some hearty food off to sustain dad when Claudi insisted time after time “stay a little longer”. Before I knew it I saw another amazing boy take his first gulp of air. The third I had a front row seat for as this was the birth of our amazing Boston, an event that gifted me more “knowledge” of birth then any text book could fathom. Then it was Aurelia and the little warrior William’s turn.
Watching these little boys come into the world was wonderful, each birth different from the last, but the one string that ties them together is extraordinary strong women. To say these three women are important to me is an understatement, it would be more accurate to say they are pillars of feminine strength that have guided and supported me through out my years. So of course to have supported them in labour was a great honour for me.
To be honest the first time I felt really clueless, the second only slightly more confident. I regret not becoming more informed about the birth partner role beforehand, but I guess the excitement of just being there was enough for a young woman. During my own journey toward birth the research I did along with information from our hypno-birthing course uncovered many useful tools for birth partners.
Aurelia had already been nurturing me throughout pregnancy with acupuncture treatments and supporting me through so many of the challenges life brings, so she was a perfect choice for my own second birth partner. Admittedly I had another motive… I wanted to give her what Georgia had gifted me 7 years ago…the chance to be at a birth before Aurelia embarked on the journey herself.
18 months later, embark she did. I saw the whole thing through different eyes yet again. I felt more connected to what was happening; I remembered the calm excitement as things warm up, the whoa moment when active labour kicks in, the trance like state physical exhaustion and hormones brings to us, the part when you just can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel, then whoosh you round a corner and some goddess takes over with sheer determination to meet that beautiful baby of yours…….whoa got a little caught up there! I was also aware of the bumps in her journey that were different to my own, aware that every birth takes a different path even if we dance to the same rhythm.
So what is this blog post about? Well I wanted to share my stories of birth partners, maybe even introduce the idea to some who likes to read this blog. I have also written a post detailing exactly what you do as a birth partner that keeps you busy as a bee in a field of daffodils.
So what do you think? Did you have a birth partner other then your own partner? Would you ever consider having one?
I can not imagine my birth without Aurelia, as I had expected she was completely amazing and indispensable. Both Georgia and Claudi expressed to me the extra comfort that came with simply having me present. Aurelia and Chris gave me the biggest compliment by saying “we couldn’t have done it without you” (although I have no doubt those two could move mountains all on their own). For me one word stands out CONNECTION… I now have a connection to these women and children that is beautiful, full of love and will never be broken.
6 thoughts on “Birth #4 and I am addicted! – Being an unofficial doula”
What an honour to be there in those first few moments of a little person’s life 🙂 I had a friend come for Goldie’s home birth. Her ‘job’ was to help us and to watch Margo. She has no kids yet and had never seen a birth. She loved it 🙂
That is fantastic Kate! I felt so blessed to have experienced birth before I had my own baby. You know of all four births Boston’s had the least bumps in the road, it was a text book “normal” natural birth. But seeing the challenges the other women had in no way put me off, in fact I felt more prepared because of it. I knew that no matter how hard my labour was at the end of the day it would all melt away once I held my baby. Seriously the best preparation for birth ever.
Wanted to share this here. Does it make you want to share your birth with another woman?
” Aurelia not sure if I ever asked you but writing this made me wonder. Do you feel that seeing our birth helped you prepare for your own?”
“Yes, it definitely did!!!! It solidified in my mind what I wanted for me and my child during and after birth. I actually can’t put into words how special it was to be a part of your labour and Boston’s birth, but I think if any woman has a chance to provide that support for another woman, it’s life changing and I encourage them wholeheartedly to do so!”