Birth

Birth #4 and I am addicted! – Being an unofficial doula

~ Mumsgoneclimbing ~ 6 Comments

Three weeks ago, on a Tuesday in February, my heart was in my throat as I calmed my voice “everything is well, you are both doing great, just breath…..” I gently held my best friends head hoping to help her stay centred. Seconds later a baby boy named William came into this world, up and onto her belly, a pause…then a cry… and the room filled with magic.

William in his first hour earth side
William in his first hour earth side

I have witnessed four wonderful births. Of all the experiences in my life thus far this gifts me the most honour. The first is now over seven years ago, I remember with perfect clarity the moment I saw Narrah take his first breath and the joy on Georgia’s face. It flooded me with such intense emotion that I could not help but burst into tears. The second, Lennox, now four years ago was a completely unplanned attendance. I was dropping some hearty food off to sustain dad when Claudi insisted time after time “stay a little longer”. Before I knew it I saw another amazing boy take his first gulp of air. The third I had a front row seat for as this was the birth of our amazing Boston, an event that gifted me more “knowledge” of birth then any text book could fathom. Then it was Aurelia and the little warrior William’s turn.

Watching these little boys come into the world was wonderful, each birth different from the last, but the one string that ties them together is extraordinary strong women. To say these three women are important to me is an understatement, it would be more accurate to say they are pillars of feminine strength that have guided and supported me through out my years. So of course to have supported them in labour was a great honour for me.

My very very special nephew Narrah
My very very special nephew Narrah

To be honest the first time I felt really clueless, the second only slightly more confident. I regret not becoming more informed about the birth partner role beforehand, but I guess the excitement of just being there was enough for a young woman. During my own journey toward birth the research I did along with information from our hypno-birthing course uncovered many useful tools for birth partners.

Aurelia had already been nurturing me throughout pregnancy with acupuncture treatments and supporting me through so many of the challenges life brings, so she was a perfect choice for my own second birth partner. Admittedly I had another motive… I wanted to give her what Georgia had gifted me 7 years ago…the chance to be at a birth before Aurelia embarked on the journey herself.

18 months later, embark she did. I saw the whole thing through different eyes yet again. I felt more connected to what was happening; I remembered the calm excitement as things warm up, the whoa moment when active labour kicks in, the trance like state physical exhaustion and hormones brings to us, the part when you just can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel, then whoosh you round a corner and some goddess takes over with sheer determination to meet that beautiful baby of yours…….whoa got a little caught up there! I was also aware of the bumps in her journey that were different to my own, aware that every birth takes a different path even if we dance to the same rhythm.

Lennox melting my heart all over again
Lennox melting my heart all over again

So what is this blog post about? Well I wanted to share my stories of birth partners, maybe even introduce the idea to some who likes to read this blog. I have also written a post detailing exactly what you do as a birth partner that keeps you busy as a bee in a field of daffodils.

So what do you think? Did you have a birth partner other then your own partner? Would you ever consider having one?

I can not imagine my birth without Aurelia, as I had expected she was completely amazing and indispensable. Both Georgia and Claudi expressed to me the extra comfort that came with simply having me present. Aurelia and Chris gave me the biggest compliment by saying “we couldn’t have done it without you” (although I have no doubt those two could move mountains all on their own). For me one word stands out CONNECTION… I now have a connection to these women and children that is beautiful, full of love and will never be broken.

Hypnobirthing

~ Mumsgoneclimbing ~ 2 Comments

Get out your swinging time pieces and spinning spirals my friends it is hypno time!!! I am joking of course, but lets face it when you hear the word hypnosis the image of people clucking like chickens pops to mind. Luckily thanks to my good friend Gareth Vaughan (aka hypnotherapist extraordinaire) I have had a different perception of hypnosis for quite sometime, so when hypnobirthing was recommended to me I was intrigued.

What the buggery is hypnosis from a therapy stand point?? Well I am no expert (and I am a poor liar so I won’t pretend to be an expert) but this is the idea from my own perspective. Hypnotherapy teaches you about your brain/mind and how it functions. It explains how our realities are formed through experiences and how our brain filters those experiences. It makes you aware of preconceived beliefs that are affecting the way you experience life. It gives you tools to alter these beliefs, shifting the way you perceive and experience situations.

The actual state of hypnosis is when you are relaxed and downloading information. It is a state where you are susceptible to suggestion. Suggestion that you will cluck like a chicken, or that you can achieve a challenging task, or that you have no reliance on cigarettes, or that child birth is a natural process that your body was perfectly designed for. We get into hypnotic states everyday. When you are drifting off to sleep, engrossed in a television program, driving a familiar route or meditating. For something that sounds quite out there hypnosis is really just part of life.

Okay great… so what does all this mind shifting have to do with birth? Well lets be honest ladies who looks forward to their first birth and thinks “hell yeah that is going to be awesome, bring it on!”? Personally I grew up with the distinct notion that birth would be extremely painful and traumatic. I recall using it as ammo when in arguments with the male of our species, “well women give birth so what are YOU complaining about?” There is a WHOLE BUNCH of fear surrounding birth, and well yah it is a massive task for your body to go through and things can go wrong, but is all the fear helping?

Our gorgeous hypnobaby resting on my chest just after birth with dad supporting his head
Our gorgeous hypnobaby resting on my chest just after birth with dad supporting his head

Animals (and humans are animals if anyone has forgotten) have several survival mechanisms and many mothers to be when faced with a threat will stall labor. Think in cave man terms, to survive we use fight or flight and when we are scared our bodies do a whole heap of really cool things that facilitate these two options. One result being blood and oxygen floods to our limbs, we are able to flee with lightening speed or pull amazing ninja moves, but give birth….ahhhh not so much. If you are in fight of flight mode your body puts the birthing experience on the back burner. Really what is the point in pumping blood around the all important baby pushing muscle (the uterus) if you are about to be eaten by a raptor??

The hypnobirthing philosophy follows this idea and aims to create an informed birthing experience where the mother feels safe and relaxed. This environment allows our body the best chance to function as nature intended and have a birth with little complication. Hypnobirthing uses breathing techniques, relaxations, visualisations and positive affirmations to keep your body and mind chilled out. It also gives the mumma’s birth companion a stack of great tools to help support, relax and encourage.

My partner in crime and I completed a course with the lovely Anthea Thomas of Hypnobirthing Gold Coast. As a young family we tossed up whether we could afford the course but looking back are so grateful we included it in our preparation. It was more then just hypnosis, it was an antenatal class with a twist…and a positive one at that. I felt 100% more confident that I could achieve the natural birth we wanted after finishing the course. As a bonus (possibly even the most important outcome) I also had a partner who had been given real down to earth tools that would help me through labor and actually include him in Boston’s birth.

Enjoying Dads chest in the first few days of life
Enjoying Dads chest in the first few days of life

The understanding that birth is significantly affected by fear and the affect it has on us physiologically was a big UH HUH moment for me, but it is only a small part of what a hypnobirthing course will give you. If you would like to know more check out Hypnobirthing Gold Coast website or facebook page.

p.s I want to be clear that I do not believe that any one thing, or even a combination of things, will guarantee an easy or complication free birth. It is a huge challenge physically and mentally. Things can and do go wrong without cause or blame. Talking to women of a traditional village in the pacific (no running water, no electricity and in wet season no access to a doctor) the challenge is as clear as ever. Their number one health concern, how do we help mothers and babies in birth? So….I believe every helpful tool you can pack in your belt, go for it! Most importantly do what works for YOU.

Baby mumma – our bombdiggity tool kit

~ Mumsgoneclimbing ~ Leave a comment

Yawn it is morning and Boston is now SEVEN WEEKS OLD! Golly gosh how time flys when you are breast feeding, changing nappies and falling in love. In my last post I gave you the epic that was Bozzies birth and now I want to share some secrets (ahh not really secrets) about the tool kit we had. I can only assume that like others I had pretty limited knowledge about birth before it was actually my turn to do it. After getting over the initial surprise that we were going to be parents and my body had another being inside of it, (a. the surprise will be explored in another blog b. still not really grasping that we are parents) I set about gathering information about pregnancy and birth. I am not one for reading a TONN of information but what I came across started to form the knowledge base I eventually drew upon. Things I found useful were;

  1. The Business of Being Born (2008) – This is a documentary that focuses on the current American medical system and how the majority of birth’s are managed. Even though our Australian system is different this doco gives insight into how one intervention may create a cascade affect. It also highlights options other then a hospital birth and looks back at the history of birth in western society. It is downloadable online or you can watch snippets through youtube.
  2. Your Best Birth, Author Ricky Lake – This book was the product of Ricky’s experience making “The Business of Being Born”. I found it gave a reasonably non biased information on what you can expect no matter what path you choose.
  3. The Good Birth Companion: A Practical Guide to Having the Best Labour and Birth, Author Nicole Croft – This was my favourite book. Once again it took a middle ground view point delivered in short chunks of very practical and helpful information. It also contains a section dedicated to the first few weeks after birth which is vital. You can buy this one on amazon or through ebay, alternately try your local library (my source of books).
  4. www.babycenter.com.au – As far as websites goes I found this one to have very helpful information about an extensive range of topics. They also have a pregnancy app which gives you little tidbits of information each day as your pregnancy progresses (perfect for baby brain). They also put out a book that has great chunks of information called Pregnancy; From conception to birth.
Apart from these all our information came first hand from experts in the field. Who are these amazing people you may ask, well here is my super wicked support team list.
My Boston belly at 30 weeks

Murwillumbah Midwives

  • A Li Acupuncture – the wonderfully talented acupuncturist Aurelia Everaarts
  • Pure Bliss Yoga – pregnancy yoga with the joyful Lina
  • Hypnobirthing – full of great stories and positive affirmations with Anthea Thomas
  • Joey – my very special friend and midwife who listened to me and answered so many questions with total honesty.
  • Birth’s I have been a part of – A huge thank you must be extended to Georgie and Claudi who invited me to be part of their birthing experience and in turn shared an invaluable gift. Without seeing their two wonderful boys come into the world I would not have had a real life gague for my birth.
That is all for this blog. I am aware that it is a wee bit on the boring side but I really wanted to share these resources with the mumma’s to be out there. Stay tuned next time for some more creative writing all about hypnobirthing (it is not like stage hypnosis, and no I will not cluck like a chicken when you count to three).