yeah it is pretty darn beautiful snoozing with Boston
We have a family counsellor/healer that we have been seeing for the better part of ten years. Karen is a BodyTalk practitioner, what the booggily is a BodyTalk practitioner??? Well if you want the official definition try HERE I still can not entirely understand or explain the process to you, but I can say that for us it has been such an amazing tool. To greatly simplify, the treatment takes cues from muscle memory in the body, highlighting stored beliefs and areas of concern, then uses techniques to balance energies. To be honest Karen is so lovely that we would enjoy seeing her for any occasion, the subtle yet huge improvements to our wellbeing is just a bonus.
Boston is 20 months old and waking between 2 and 5 times a night. We have good weeks and bad weeks, which I have mainly accepted as typical toddler behaviour (except on those mornings where my eyes are hanging out of my head, then I would swear it was the problem of a demon from the dark depths of the planet ZAARRR). Every few weeks there seems to be a new secret to helping him sleep, but just when we get the knack the process starts again.
Yesterday Boston had a treatment with Karen, we were not focusing on anything in particular but just seeing what surfaced. This would be his third treatment, the first two were shortly after his cranio vault reconstruction surgery. When it came up that “Boston does not like sleep” I was actually a little surprised. Yes he can be sensitive, but on a whole he still has a two hour nap each day and sleeps from 7 till 7. Once a problem is identified the practitioner will go deeper, trying to find beliefs and causes. Boston’s belief around the emotion was a fear of falling into sleep, of letting go, so ingrained that he becomes distressed in between sleep cycles when he realises he has let himself fall. Why this belief? His body showed us the times he was put under anaesthetic.
The penny dropped and then a million more came crashing down. Boston has been put under anaesthetic four times! Twice for scans and twice for surgery. The first time he was only 3 months old. Unlike a lot of people who wake groggy and disorientated Boston always comes out hysterical and screaming. The sensation of the drug alone is scary enough, then add the times after surgery when he woke in pain, with swollen eyes and tubes running in and out of his body…my heart aches when I see the clear picture. Then I thought back to all those different soothing techniques we needed to help him sleep, the way he seems to fight it with arms flying, biting his comforter, smooshing into pillows, rolling over and over then jolting awake just before he manages to nod off. The countless times he wakes shaking and crying in the night (it started after surgery and still happens a few times a week). We tried sleep training at one point with a bit of improvement but after a couple of days I stopped, it didn’t feel right and the more research I did (partially covered in our friends blog HERE) the more I knew it was not for us. Now I feel so relieved that we decided to co-sleep and use gentle soothing techniques.
To some I know this will all sound far fetch, but I wanted to share because it is important to us and so will be important to some one else out there. Karen worked with Boston energetically to balance his body and we are changing bed time rituals around, attempting to bring a new more peaceful meaning of sleep to Boston’s thoughts. Wish us luck xo
“The word ‘doula’ (pronounced ‘doo-la’) is a Greek word meaning ‘woman servant or caregiver’. More recently, it refers to someone who offers emotional and physical support to a woman and her partner before, during and after childbirth.”
Okay to be straight I know that I am not a doula. There is a lot more involved in the role of a trained and qualified doula, something I will cover more in another post. But I do like the way the word rolls off the tongue dooo-laaaaa… My experience is better described as birth partner, birth support person, birth companion etc etc. In my last post I shared with you tid bits of the way I feel about being and having more then one birth companion. Whether that means your partner, a friend, family members or an official doula. But what exactly does that person do?
When I was preparing to give birth I came across many tools for birth companions, it was such an exciting discovery because I realised how involved my partner could be! It would not be a journey I had to travel alone, or one in which he felt like a helpless bystander. This is a break down of the day William was born which will hopefully give you a sneak peak at why so many women love having great birth companions.
Feb 11th
For the past few weeks my schedule has been “subject to birth”, absolutely everyone smiles at this answer. My parents are on standby for baby sitting and I have a little bag of clothes packed just in case.
3:17am My phone starts ringing, my eyes shoot open… the caller ID says Aureliaand I can not help but grin. My memory is not good enough to recall exact words but lets say it went like this (in whispers)nell “Hello darling” aurelia “Hello, so I think I am having a baby”
3:18am Sneak out of bed and wake up Steve who exclaims “yippee” I tell him to be aware of Boston who is sleeping next to us. I fit in a quick shower, grab my bag, some muffins, two apples and water. Heart racing…CHECK then it’s into the dark of early morning and onto the freeway.
4:20amI am still on the freeway, loving the fact it is rather isolated at this time in the morning and playing over in my head Boston’s birth as adrenalin pumps through my body…then I take a few breaths and remember I need to be the calm centred one for today
Leo lending a helping hand, Aurelia deep breathing and me with the blessed hot water bottle
4:40am My car pulls up outside Aurelia’s home, I am so excited to be there. I sneak up the front stairs and quietly let myself in. I am waiting to be accosted by their insanely loveable giant mastiff and I am not disappointed. Leo lumbers up with as much excitement as me, he ensures my dog is not in toe…I see his disappointment but it fades quickly. I find Chris in the kitchen and give him a massive hug as he tells me Auie is in the clinic (She is an amazing Acupuncturist who works from home). I enter the darkened room, curtains drawn, no lights bar flickering candles, the perfect environment for mammals to birth just incase you’re wondering. The room smells devine and I know it will be the mixture of aromatherapy oils Aurelia has selected specifically for birth. In the centre of the room Aurelia rocks on a exercise ball, eyes closed focusing inwards and breathing slowly through a contraction. It stops as her eyes open up and she gives me a bliss filled smile. I can see she is doing amazing and she confirms my thoughts. Labour started a few hours ago and everything feels calm, the contractions are getting stronger but they are not too taxing. We celebrate the day with a big hug!
5:00am okay time for me to be of service. Chris needs to sort some work out so I take over duties while he orchestrates business. Water…CHECK, Tea … Yes please (camomile), Hot water bottle…just keep it on the lower back it is doing wonders, Contractions…Timer is here please take note. I sort out our tea and sit with Aurelia holding the hot water bottle and monitoring length of/between contractions. We decide it is time to let her midwife know birth has begun but there is no great urgency to leave the comfort of home.
8:00am Three hours fly by. We chat between contractions, readying hospital bags, checking lists, keeping the midwife informed of progress. The contractions have gained in intensity. With each one Aurelia closes her eyes and concentrates on long slow breaths, delivering vital oxygen to the uteurous as it squeezes and pushes, tightening and relaxing…down down down. Chris or I sit near each time running our finger tips up her back, over her shoulders and down her arms….then back again. Light touch massage, dim lighting and deep breathing stimulates the release of oxytocin, known as the love hormone, it reduces anxiety and helps one feel more relaxed, content and secure. The hot water bottle is not abandoned, this is a constant.
Another contraction comes and Aurelia’s reaction says it all, yes time to go to hospital.
We scoop up belongings, blow candles out and hand Aurelia some headphones which she promptly stuffs into her ears. They are playing her birth sound track, a mix of songs that make her happy, it had been floating from speakers until now. We all shuffle outside and into the car, Chris does the heavy lifting while I support mumma bear.
I am aware Aurelia was worried about the transition from home to hospital, often it can stall labour. Bright lights, strange noises, hospital smells and questions from health professionals are all elements that take focus off the task at hand. But we had strategies in place and like a pro Aurelia stays centred, immersed in the music from her headphones, eyes closed, deep breaths. As Chris drives I rest my hand on her back and try to keep her informed gently of where we are, adding positive affirmations “you are doing amazing, all is perfect”.
9:30amWe are shown to the birthing suite after being admitted. I brim like a proud mum at the nurses exclamations “She is so calm and doing great”. We go to work as Aurelia heads to the wicked three headed shower. Lights off, close curtains, scatter LED candles around the room, put iPod in music dock, switch on electric oil burner and add birthing concoction. Chris heads off to move the car while I sit with Aurelia in the shower running warm water up and down her spine, a new and awesome version of soft touch massage. It is pitch black apart from the flickering candles glowing in each corner. I am so relaxed I nearly fall asleep, hopefully Aurelia felt the same… perfect hospital transition.
After returning from a coffee run I spotted this sign on our door LOVE IT
10:00amI run to the cafe to fetch coffee and refreshments for us birth companions and midwives. MMMMmmmm…espresso!!!
10:30amFrom here things get pretty repetitive. It is all about responding to Aurelia’s needs and instincts. The water bottle is still a constant that is held on her lower back 100% of the time (sitting, standing, squatting, childs pose…yup water bottle…and make sure its WARM). Light touch massage comes with each contraction, sometimes continuing through the breaks. We offer her water and food almost constantly, someone has to refill the water jug from the kitchen all too often. When Chris, I or the midwives see Aurelia looking discontented we suggest moving to another position, the midwives have awesome suggestions (such a great team!).
The mix of hormones and physical strain of labour brings mums into an almost hypnotic state, they are very open to suggestion (in other words will believe almost anything), which is why it is PARAMOUNT to keep language as positive as possible. There is plenty of time for silence but it is dotted with affirmations “you are doing amazing, trust your body, everything is well, everything is perfect, trust yourself, deep breaths, relax your muscles…melting like butter”.
2:00pmAll of us can see the light at the end of the tunnel now, even Aurelia has rounded the corner through transition and is hell bent on triumphantly holding her baby. It was not all smooth sailing but Aurelia is a warrior and with the expert guidance of her midwives mixed with her own determination has found the natural home stretch she dreamed of. At times of trepidation or slight concern Chris and I stood by like alert pit bulls not entirely sure of what we were doing but knowing that whatever needed to be done to protect this woman and babe was seriously going to happen.
2:49pmWilliam is born and scooped into the arms of his mum while we stand by her side gobbsmacked as any witness to birth should be.
Little William all curled up just before I head home.
3:15pmLike a light switching on Aurelia emerges from the birthing trance. Her presence flows out from her body and into her little boy and the whole darn universe. “Food please!” I head to the cafe to get toasted turkish rolls and fresh peppermint tea while Aurelia and Chris get to know their son. The warm food brings more life to Aurelia and you would hardly guess she had just run a physical marathon.
7pmThe day has been long and though elated I was not gifted with all the euphoric hormones Aurelia has coursing through her veins. Chris drops me back to my car and I blissfully drive home to bed.
Three weeks ago, on a Tuesday in February, my heart was in my throat as I calmed my voice “everything is well, you are both doing great, just breath…..” I gently held my best friends head hoping to help her stay centred. Seconds later a baby boy named William came into this world, up and onto her belly, a pause…then a cry… and the room filled with magic.
William in his first hour earth side
I have witnessed four wonderful births. Of all the experiences in my life thus far this gifts me the most honour. The first is now over seven years ago, I remember with perfect clarity the moment I saw Narrah take his first breath and the joy on Georgia’s face. It flooded me with such intense emotion that I could not help but burst into tears. The second, Lennox, now four years ago was a completely unplanned attendance. I was dropping some hearty food off to sustain dad when Claudi insisted time after time “stay a little longer”. Before I knew it I saw another amazing boy take his first gulp of air. The third I had a front row seat for as this was the birth of our amazing Boston, an event that gifted me more “knowledge” of birth then any text book could fathom. Then it was Aurelia and the little warrior William’s turn.
Watching these little boys come into the world was wonderful, each birth different from the last, but the one string that ties them together is extraordinary strong women. To say these three women are important to me is an understatement, it would be more accurate to say they are pillars of feminine strength that have guided and supported me through out my years. So of course to have supported them in labour was a great honour for me.
My very very special nephew Narrah
To be honest the first time I felt really clueless, the second only slightly more confident. I regret not becoming more informed about the birth partner role beforehand, but I guess the excitement of just being there was enough for a young woman. During my own journey toward birth the research I did along with information from our hypno-birthing course uncovered many useful tools for birth partners.
Aurelia had already been nurturing me throughout pregnancy with acupuncture treatments and supporting me through so many of the challenges life brings, so she was a perfect choice for my own second birth partner. Admittedly I had another motive… I wanted to give her what Georgia had gifted me 7 years ago…the chance to be at a birth before Aurelia embarked on the journey herself.
18 months later, embark she did. I saw the whole thing through different eyes yet again. I felt more connected to what was happening; I remembered the calm excitement as things warm up, the whoa moment when active labour kicks in, the trance like state physical exhaustion and hormones brings to us, the part when you just can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel, then whoosh you round a corner and some goddess takes over with sheer determination to meet that beautiful baby of yours…….whoa got a little caught up there! I was also aware of the bumps in her journey that were different to my own, aware that every birth takes a different path even if we dance to the same rhythm.
Lennox melting my heart all over again
So what is this blog post about? Well I wanted to share my stories of birth partners, maybe even introduce the idea to some who likes to read this blog. I have also written a post detailing exactly what you do as a birth partner that keeps you busy as a bee in a field of daffodils.
So what do you think? Did you have a birth partner other then your own partner? Would you ever consider having one?
I can not imagine my birth without Aurelia, as I had expected she was completely amazing and indispensable. Both Georgia and Claudi expressed to me the extra comfort that came with simply having me present. Aurelia and Chris gave me the biggest compliment by saying “we couldn’t have done it without you” (although I have no doubt those two could move mountains all on their own). For me one word stands out CONNECTION… I now have a connection to these women and children that is beautiful, full of love and will never be broken.
nella inspired 