Baby Mumma
Birth is all about options, the choice should be yours
It is almost 33 weeks since conception of baby number two and although I am not immersed in pregnancy and birth like I was with baby number one I still enjoy sinking my teeth into the birthing world. For the next few weeks I want to post about birth. Sooooo you are just going to have to hear what I want to say….. Of course if you find it boring as bat poo then feel free to abandon the blog for now 😉
Like most topics that are given free rein on the internet birth can be a very very heated debate. How to do it, where to do it, who should be there, who is responsible, who is a crazy hippie, who is too medicalised, who’s feelings post birth are justified. Its FREAKIN TERRIFYING. My opinion on birth is that everyone should approach it in a way that feels best for them and their baby. I believe that being as informed as possible about the different tools available can empower women to make the decision that resonates most, whether that be birth under the care of a private obstetrician in a hospital or a private midwife at home. Fear is the enemy of birth, so do everything you can to feel as safe and comfortable as possible.
All you have to know is…there are options. Birth doesn’t have to look like 95% of hollywood films, cue screaming legs in the air madness surrounded with bright lights and scrubs. It also doesn’t have to look like a chanting tie-dye clad goddess reaching enlightenment. There is so much in between!! I live in Australia and we have plenty of options. You can choose to home birth with a private midwife, or in some area’s home birth through the public system. Like I have done you can choose a midwife clinic which has affiliations with or is within a hospital. You can choose shared midwife and obstetric care within the public or private hospital system. Most options allow for water birth if that floats your fancy (pun intended). You can choose to have an elected c-section privately or with medical reason publicly. You can birth within a hospital system along side seeing a private midwife. You can even hire a doula to support you through any type of birth. I have more then likely missed options, but you get the point.
I think the important thing for every one to remember is that you define your perception of birth. It is going to be personal and reliant on factors that are specific to your needs. You will be told what seems like a million stories while you a pregnant, as a woman you have been told stories your whole life about this journey called birth. Lots might have been quite scary, hopefully some filled you with a sense of joy and excitement. Feel free to do research into all your options, meet with care givers, if you do not like their ways or how you feel around them…feel free to find someone else. Look into tools and options you may think are crazy, you just might be surprised. For crying out loud make a birth plan! and don’t feel stupid for wanting things to go a certain way. Yes, birth can be unpredictable… Yes, be open to all possibilities…Yes, your plan may go out the window…but that is life! and it doesn’t mean we have to rummage through without vision or desire.
Finally I want to leave you with a film that popped up on my FB news feed today, it was made by Georgia from Documenting Delight and shows a beautiful positive birth. To be honest the first time I saw a positive birth video was when we did our hypnobirthing course. I really believe seeing this different side of birth can help women feel empowered and excited (I felt 100% more confident after seeing only a handful like this)…at the very least it will start to balance all the terrified screaming ones.
*listen closely at 7:44 min….yup she just said “oh that was so easy”
Share the load and find some headspace
A friend of mine recently said something along the lines of “You love your kids even more when they’re sleeping and I found out why… It’s because you actually have a moment to think about it”
As parents, and particularly if you happen to be a stay home mum or dad, it can be rare to find a moment that is not consumed with either the responsibilities of living or the responsibilities of making sure your child doesn’t decide to grab hold of your dogs tail and attempt to bite it off. Your mind is constantly focused in the moment or the ever so boring to do list, that you actually do not get the chance to reflect and appreciate life.
There is another thing that tends to happen as well. We become so use to the treadmill that when someone offers to tag team, jump on and keep it rolling while we take to the bush track instead, we tend to deny them. I seriously crave the sort of me time that for 27 years of my life was on tap. Nothing extravagant…just conversation with a dear friend that includes my full attention and no interruptions. Or a walk along the beach to wonder at the ocean and waves without seeing them as a immediate drowning hazard. I have an amazing husband who will often ask if I want to take time, but I get so stumped about having time that I can barely come up with what I want to do” ahhh…ummmm…okay……ummmm”, or I feel this weird guilt for leaving him to wrestle our son for an hour (all the while being completely aware that it is RIDICULOUS, unfounded, hogwash, self indulgent guilt).
This morning I ask for some time and it was happily given. Of course it would be happily given by my husband, our family or a friend pretty much when ever I was in need. But this morning I TOOK IT! It was wonderful. One and a half hours of just walking along enjoying the world, sitting to meditate not on my bed at the end of a busy day but in the soft sand while gazing at the waves, finding some head space, just being…reflecting and feeling grateful.
So to all of you out there who have little time to turn off from what is right in front of you or what is hijacking your mind…jump off the treadmill of life, find some head space!!!! You do not have to be a parent, maybe your life is full of work, or stress, or relationship needs. Whoever…whatever…when some one offers to share the load so you can find peace…please… let them.



