One of the things I love about parenting our second child is how naturally I can follow instincts. With our first I lacked confidence and questioned everything, predominately I was swayed by opinions and values that had shaped my view of parenting. At times I felt like I was swimming against the current, fighting the natural wants of my baby because some preconceived idea didn’t think it was right. It was like I had to enforce every little thing that happened, I had to be in control, because surely a little baby couldn’t be the master of their own life.
What I have learnt on my parenting journey is that babies and young children are very very clever. Not in the academic intellectual way or the cunning charismatic way that may be deemed superior in our adult world. No…our children are masters of instinct, they are geared for survival, and all they do is expressed from their truthful pure self.
So second time around I don’t look at the clock as much, I don’t count feeds or stress over naps, there is no schedule which is not Miss Ruby Jean’s schedule. If you ask me how often she feeds I seriously can not say, some days it may be a couple of times in every hour, other days it is one time every couple of hours. My baby wants someone to hold her MOST of the time and you know what?…that is completely natural. Yes I take my baby to bed with me, we sleep side by side like two peas in a pod, she loves having me near and I love not having to get out of bed to breastfeed. I also understand that she is ever changing and evolving as all little people do, I understand that what works for her today may not work tomorrow, I understand that the only thing that will work is honouring her instincts and adapting with that journey.
Now I realise that she can be the master of her life and in fact she is also my master for this time, that probably sounds scary as hell to some and maybe just a bit ridiculous to others, but guess what? WHAT!? I am less stressed, I have more energy and…following Ruby’s instincts is a WHOLE lot more rewarding then forcing my preconceived ideas.