Our wedding was about more then “just us two”

One year ago about this time I was rushing around with excitement and nerves jumping through my body, it was wedding week and we were full steam ahead. Ten years spent walking the same path deserved one hell of a celebration, in turn we had planned a DIY wedding weekend on a beautiful property with all our family and close friends.

w140830_441aRewind a decade and I have fallen head over heels for a guy who tells me he has no interest in marriage, something about ” a stupid meaningless tradition” (cue total disbelief and denial of the happily ever after girl). But like any good woman I disregard this difference of belief surrounding a major life event, and proceed forth falling in love and waiting patiently for him to change his perspective. Many a debate was to follow surrounding ritual, values, connection, family, tradition. Now you may think this seems a ridiculous situation, one sure to lead to manipulation and bargaining, and maybe you are right…but here is something else it lead to.

My partners reluctance to marry lead me to explore and question what marriage and a wedding really meant to me. I was forced to justify my desire with more then “that is just what we are suppose to do next”. Tradition of old was reinvented and we interwove aspects of ourselves into every part of our union. Each element reflected a part of what was important in our world. And number one wasn’t the dress or food or bonbonniere’s , it was bringing our family and friends together to celebrate. After all our journey was as much about them as it was about us.

The day after I married Steve we were driving to brunch, alone for a brief time, when I began to laugh with joy. I was reflecting on the day just past and I could hardly believe it had been OUR wedding. It was so special and joyful and tear-filled and heartfelt. There was an air of connection all around, like everyone there was in on a beautiful secret. Today I want to share with you some pretty darn special parts of our wedding, little things that in the end made it more magical then the happily ever after girl of yesteryear could even imagine.

w140830_048Tea is a huge part of our world. It seriously is a ritual that brings us together, like no matter how crazy life can be we know there is always time to share a cuppa. So what better ring vessel then a vintage tea tin, found by my mum and just so happened to be bearing the famous Shakespeare line “That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet”

w140830_073_fotorSteve never wanted a  traditional bridal party and I must thank him. I didn’t have bridesmaids, I had “Nell’s league of extraordinary women”. They could wear whatever they wished and they lead me down the isle then scattered throughout the crowd. Each had different roles including witnessing, speech, readings, MCing and holding my hand as the wedding car wove it’s way to the ceremony. I loved that throwing tradition out the window allowed me to honour each extraordinary woman.

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As part of our ceremony we shared a drink from a two handled cup. It is a Scottish tradition and the special cup is called a Quaich. We choose to dedicate the moment to my grandfather and Steve’s dad who have both passed in the last two years, off to the next adventure away from earthly soil. By the end of the day I believe most guests had drunk from the Quaich and there was a whole new ritual being developed.
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Our son Boston turned two just before we were married. He is such a huge part of why our union moved to a deeper level and it was so important to us that he was included in the ceremony. We wrote vows for him, and created a family charm with each of our birth stones and tokens with our Chinese animals.

VowsLast but not least, music is a big part of life, and we had a real desire to have everyone up and dancing. We also love eating delicious food every weekend at the farmers markets. Why two such random comments…well put them together and we find Andrea Soler. The most gorgeous ray of sunshine we could hope to include in our wedding. Her gypsy beats did exactly what we dreamt and dance we did!
w140830_507 w140830_576 w140830_736_2 w140830_752a_2 w140830_754_2So here I am on the eve of our first anniversary feeling oh so grateful to have my freakin awesome husband (HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!), and even more grateful that our wedding included so many extraordinary human beings. Hope you enjoyed the flash back xo

*Photos are all thanks to the rock your socks awesomeness of Todd and Alyda from Todd Hunter McGaw Photography.

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My take on…THE WEDDING

Ten years ago when I first decided I would be marrying Steven (he took a bit more time to convince) marriage was an idea in my head that looked like the end of every Disney movie…Happily Ever After. Then reality bit in and I saw relationships turn nasty, marriages crumble, I had my heart broken a few times, suddenly Happily Ever After seemed confusing. I realised that a wedding didn’t give you a free pass to happiness and “till death do us part” seemed an impossible promise. So over the years I have reinvented my view on this relationship rite of passage. Don’t get me wrong I am in no way trying to reinvent everyones perception, but this is my take on THE WEDDING.

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This Saturday I will marry the man I have loved for such a long time and it will be such a joyous day. It will be a celebration of all our triumphs and failures, a celebration of families coming together, of lessons learnt by each others side, a celebration of creating new life and of loving another person so much it makes you cry. It will be a chance for all the people we love in our life to come together and CELEBRATE LOVE!! And yes, we will be making promises to each other, along the lines of; we promise to always strive to be true and honest and respectful no matter which way our path winds.

The planning of a wedding is so huge that this beautiful meaning behind the event is sometimes forgotten. So at times when I feel like I am on the event planning treadmill I STOP…breath…and hold in my mind a picture of all the people who will be there. I see how we are all connected by the love between Steve and I…suddenly my soul is still and I can enjoy each step involved in creating the day, savouring the whole experience, because this I have realised can be the best part.

“What do you like doing best in the world, Pooh?” “Well,” said Pooh, “what I like best-” and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called” – AA Milne

I still adore fairy tales despite my reality check and I know this weekend is going to be magical. But what Pooh was thinking about, that moment just before he eats the honey, that beautiful anticipation…that feeling is all the nights dreaming about and planning this weekend. It is the past eleven years spent at Steven’s side slowly gaining an understanding of our unique connection and realising it was going to last a long time. So yes this weekend will be magical but it is only the destination… and the journey to this wedding day has sure been something worth celebrating.