One year ago about this time I was rushing around with excitement and nerves jumping through my body, it was wedding week and we were full steam ahead. Ten years spent walking the same path deserved one hell of a celebration, in turn we had planned a DIY wedding weekend on a beautiful property with all our family and close friends.
Rewind a decade and I have fallen head over heels for a guy who tells me he has no interest in marriage, something about ” a stupid meaningless tradition” (cue total disbelief and denial of the happily ever after girl). But like any good woman I disregard this difference of belief surrounding a major life event, and proceed forth falling in love and waiting patiently for him to change his perspective. Many a debate was to follow surrounding ritual, values, connection, family, tradition. Now you may think this seems a ridiculous situation, one sure to lead to manipulation and bargaining, and maybe you are right…but here is something else it lead to.
My partners reluctance to marry lead me to explore and question what marriage and a wedding really meant to me. I was forced to justify my desire with more then “that is just what we are suppose to do next”. Tradition of old was reinvented and we interwove aspects of ourselves into every part of our union. Each element reflected a part of what was important in our world. And number one wasn’t the dress or food or bonbonniere’s , it was bringing our family and friends together to celebrate. After all our journey was as much about them as it was about us.
The day after I married Steve we were driving to brunch, alone for a brief time, when I began to laugh with joy. I was reflecting on the day just past and I could hardly believe it had been OUR wedding. It was so special and joyful and tear-filled and heartfelt. There was an air of connection all around, like everyone there was in on a beautiful secret. Today I want to share with you some pretty darn special parts of our wedding, little things that in the end made it more magical then the happily ever after girl of yesteryear could even imagine.
Tea is a huge part of our world. It seriously is a ritual that brings us together, like no matter how crazy life can be we know there is always time to share a cuppa. So what better ring vessel then a vintage tea tin, found by my mum and just so happened to be bearing the famous Shakespeare line “That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet”
Steve never wanted a traditional bridal party and I must thank him. I didn’t have bridesmaids, I had “Nell’s league of extraordinary women”. They could wear whatever they wished and they lead me down the isle then scattered throughout the crowd. Each had different roles including witnessing, speech, readings, MCing and holding my hand as the wedding car wove it’s way to the ceremony. I loved that throwing tradition out the window allowed me to honour each extraordinary woman.
As part of our ceremony we shared a drink from a two handled cup. It is a Scottish tradition and the special cup is called a Quaich. We choose to dedicate the moment to my grandfather and Steve’s dad who have both passed in the last two years, off to the next adventure away from earthly soil. By the end of the day I believe most guests had drunk from the Quaich and there was a whole new ritual being developed.
Our son Boston turned two just before we were married. He is such a huge part of why our union moved to a deeper level and it was so important to us that he was included in the ceremony. We wrote vows for him, and created a family charm with each of our birth stones and tokens with our Chinese animals.
Last but not least, music is a big part of life, and we had a real desire to have everyone up and dancing. We also love eating delicious food every weekend at the farmers markets. Why two such random comments…well put them together and we find Andrea Soler. The most gorgeous ray of sunshine we could hope to include in our wedding. Her gypsy beats did exactly what we dreamt and dance we did!
So here I am on the eve of our first anniversary feeling oh so grateful to have my freakin awesome husband (HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!), and even more grateful that our wedding included so many extraordinary human beings. Hope you enjoyed the flash back xo
*Photos are all thanks to the rock your socks awesomeness of Todd and Alyda from Todd Hunter McGaw Photography.